I felt a jerk, and yes, it was a real jerk

March 8, 2012 12:00 am

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Did he have no insurance? I wonder. Is this a recession thing, that people can't afford their insurance premiums but also can't afford to stop driving? He was on Fifth Avenue in Oakland, which tells me that if he had no insurance, he could have been on a bus. I, for one, wish he had been.

At least he wasn't visibly on the phone. I wouldn't have tried to pull over. I would have gotten out, marched back to his car and pulled him out through his own air vents.

It's probably not a recession thing, just a jackass thing. More evidence of the galloping decline of Western civilization you've heard so much about. I was trying to Google up some stats on hit-and-run accidents and I ran across an item that made me feel lucky: A 90-year-old lady on a sidewalk in England was struck down from behind by a mobility scooter.

As she and her two friends lay sprawled and injured, according to The Daily Echo, the driver asked, "Didn't you hear my hooter?"

"Thank goodness it happened outside the pub," victim Eileen Butt said. Mrs. Butt and friends were revived with tea. The scooter hooter left before ambulances arrived.

What kind of barbarian goes screeching around town recklessly on a mobility scooter? Who was that guy who left me with pools of coffee and a pain in the neck?

If I could find him, I'd like to see him get more than a bruised Butt.

First Published 2012-03-07 23:05:21

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